When is my brother / sister coming home?
Children often worry about when their sibling with cancer will come home after a prolonged stay in hospital.Siblings miss each other and want life to feel normal again. They may also feel uncertain, confused, or left out if they do not fully understand what is happening. Children may miss spending time with their sibling, worry about their health and safety, and want their family to be together again. Changes to family routines can be unsettling, and children may not understand why treatment takes so long. Hearing adults talk about the illness can also make them anxious about what it means. As a result, they may feel lonely, sad, worried, or concerned about the future.
For many children, asking, "When is my brother or sister coming home?" is really a way of asking, "Are they going to be okay?" and "When will things feel normal again?" Clear, honest, age-appropriate information and reassurance from trusted adults can help reduce these worries. The answer is different for every child and depends on their treatment and recovery. The doctors and nurses caring for your sibling are the best people to ask. Even if they cannot give an exact date, they can explain what needs to happen before your sibling is ready to go home.
Helpful information
Ask the doctor or nurse questions if there is something you do not understand. You can ask when your brother or sister might be able to come home and share any worries you have. Questions you might ask include: Has their treatment for this hospital stay been completed? Is their pain under control? Are they eating, drinking, and recovering well? Is their health stable enough for them to go home? What will the family need to do to help care for them at home?
Brothers and sisters of children with cancer often feel worried about their sibling and feel frustrated that they do not know what is happening. Siblings might feel lonely when parents spend a lot of time at the hospital or guilty for wanting normal activities while their sibling is sick. It is important to talk about your feelings with a parent, trusted adult, hospital social worker, counsellor, or child-life specialist.
Read more
- National Cancer Institute. n.d. When your brother or sister has cancer. A Guide for Teens. https://www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/when-your-sibling-has-cancer.pdf
- CancerCare. n.d. Helping the siblings of a child with cancer. https://www.cancercare.org/publications/50-helping_the_siblings_of_a_child_with_cancer
- American Cancer Society. 2024. Supporting Siblings of Children with Cancer. https://www.cancer.org/content/dam/CRC/PDF/Public/9272.00.pdf
- Cynthia A Gerhardt, et.al. 2015. Supporting Siblings as a Standard of Care in Pediatric Oncology. Paediatric Blood and Cancer/Volume 62, Issue S5/pp.S750-S804. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/288001328_Supporting_Siblings_as_a_Standard_of_Care_in_Pediatric_Oncology
- Cancer Research UK. n.d. Children’s cancer support and organisations. Supporting brothers or sisters. https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/childrens-cancer/support-organisations/supporting-brothers-sisters#practical-help
Was this article helpful?
Related Articles
Emotional support for siblings (grandchildren)
How do I cope as the sibling of a child diagnosed with cancer?
Have I caused my sister/ brother the illness?
Whatever happened before your brother or sister got sick — arguments, playing, accidents, or even just a bad thought you had — none of that caused their cancer.
Is my brother / sister going to die?
Will my sibling be ok?
When a child has cancer, most of the attention goes to them and their treatment. But brothers and sisters can also feel very confused, scared, and full of questions. Sometimes they do not feel able to talk about them, so they keep their concerns to themselves. One of the biggest questions siblings often wonder about is: 'Will my sibling be ok?’ That is a very scary thought, and it is okay to feel that way.